LET'S AVOID DISCUSSIONS AT THE TABLE
WE EXPLAIN THE RULES FOR EATING PAELLA ACCORDING TO VALENCIAN TRADITIONS
You eat from the outer edge and move towards the center in an angle, all the while meticulously avoiding the portion belonging to the person next to you. You should probably dig a “cavallonet” (trench) first to maintain the boundary, and sustain the unsurpassable wall as long as possible.
They should be distributed evenly among the guests with smaller appetites.
Using a fork is just tacky
they must first ask for approval from their neighbor and try to not spray lemon on the other sections. Historically, lemon was used for removing grease from your fingers or for cleaning the grime off of things.
When the patriarch or the social leader formally announces: “Vinga que es gela l’arròs” (Let ́s start, the rice is getting cold!”), the event begins.
Some of the common phrases that may be used are: “Cada gra d’arròs val vint duros” (Each grain is worth 60 cents), “T’ha eixit ben senceret l’arròs” (You cooked the rice just right), “Cague en la mare que et va parir, això està rebó” (We praise your mother for teaching you how to cook paella so exquisitely). Popular sayings like these abound during the meal.
of the paella for others to take if they wish to eat them.
you may under no circumstances put it back .
If it happens again, the offender may be more forcefully warned with the following statement. “Eres poc fill de puta” (You ́re quite a scoundrel). The Valencian dialect is full of these seemingly insulting comments that are actually quite cordial among friends who share the Valencian sense of humor.
“Estic fart, ja no puc més” (I ́ve had enough! I can’t eat another bite.) From this moment on, his/her portion can be invaded by the neighbors, always politely, by knocking down the trench walls and crossing the succulent frontier, while careful to not destroy everything along the way.
The only one who could do this was Joan Monleón with his spinning Paella Wheel on the Valencian game show.
you must keep that guest ́s drink full during the entire meal.
you must remain calm while you distribute this black gold equally among the guests so as not to end up “com el ball de Torrent” (a traditional Valencian dance that culminated in absolute chaos).
the undisputable sign of a good paella.